Today is a day like any other. Not really

Ah today. I haven't talked to you in a while and I've kept my distance because I was in a very angry space. Funny how life does that to you. Now I'm feeling a lot better. Things seem to be going my way, the way they always do. Especially with a passion in my heart like mine.

I have written many things. Many of them sit in a box in my parents storage. Many of them sit with me on this computer. But one in particular. A journey of a girl. A thought provoking piece of a girl living life. The way she needs it to be. The raw reality of trying to survive in unknown territory. Exploring what we do not know within ourselves.

This story is getting published. This story is leaving the box. Jumping onto that fast moving train south to where the sun shines so that it can live on forever. Although I don't expect everything I can only hope for something. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel as if I will no longer just write to loved ones and friends. Instead I get to feel what its like to give my story a life of its own. Its not under my wing. It is not under my control what happens to it. Although I will have to do a lot of my own pushing. I am excited.

I am excited to feel insecure and who knows what? I'm excited to not know what is going to happen next. My life has always been like that but now one of my babies gets to go somewhere I have never been. I don't want to think about this one. I want to let my mind go. I've been so full of thoughts that I just think myself into a dark place, in and out of good things. I want a happy give and take of my thoughts and feelings on this. One can anticipate the other, ebb and flow together. Because this is clearly unchartered waters for me. And I'm excited to feel what I think when I'm going through this journey.

Today is like any other. Not because I've done it before or thought about this for a long time. But because I can actually feel again. My heart softens and opens.

breathe. listen. sigh.)