Another Dieta Day

Sleeping has never been hard for me. Its before and after that normally is. Some of my friends think I should be in a sleep study. One of my friends should be in there with me and I'd be the control study. He'd be the one they'd study for insomnia. Him and I are so alike and so the opposite. Our eating habits, sleeping habits, bathing habits, sex, drugs, rock and roll habits.

Him and I are doing the ceremony together again. We were at the last one together on the Island and now we're down south with the same Shaman.

I live with two dogs right now that I dont really like all the time. Which is really strange for me because I love animals! It has only ever happened once before and it was the owner that I absolutely did not care for. This time it still doesn't really have anything to do with the dogs though its more the owners of the dogs. A complete reflection of them it seems. Their inability to just be adults when necessary, they're uncontrollable even to themselves, always to be watched in case they do something they're not supposed to. Although these roomies are old in some aspects, in most they're still on a level I am not. Something I'm still getting used to with people so close. Normally I need people my own dimensional age. I just dont like the fact that at any moment I may have to reprimand a dog or the owner for something they can't help doing.

I dislike having to watch people.

One of them goes completely against my feminine being. He is rude constantly and asks for things in a way that NO ONE should ever ask for anything. He uses terms like "I hate you, you fucking bitch." while asking for things that he needs her to do...be because he's made her dependent on him and him dependent on her through breaking her down first. He's so young. Then she'll just do the things he asks and tells me that he's always been like that and she likes doing things for him.

I understand doing something for someone. I love the idea of making someone I love something they want or need. But I don't think i've known anyone that would put up with that kind of language towards them. Most of the men i've asked think that if they were to say that to one of their girlfriends the girl would never. EVER. put up with that. So why does she? self esteem? both of them it seems.

I've used these terms with love through redefining the way we use them. Only then can they be made positive. Which is what Vote Love For Hate really means. Use your words with good intensions. When I use hate its normally towards my best friend and I only hate her because I love her so much. She'll do things for me that make me so happy I have to HATE her I love her so much.

Its a really hard lesson for me to learn because I've put up with it for quite a while and now that my platonic life partner and I are on the same page with recognizing the ridiculous behaviour I'm very much over it. I don't care for it, I don't want to see it. I'm not willing to talk anyone through it. If they're going to keep it up. Thats the big lesson I'm having to learn right now.

What is ok to just sit back and watch? At what point do you stand up for human kind and demand for people to grow up and get out of their insecure ways of treating others. Especially women. I seem to be surrounded by men that will not talk to women even when the woman is in charge. Its as if they'll only talk to other guys because guys know best? this is a struggle I never thought I'd have to go through. Its the southern experience. I'm from the north west and these people, not all, are from the south east. Completely different worlds. Completely different lives, television is their friend, health isn't conscious, stress kills, dimensional levels are strained...is this really what america is doing to themselves? limiting their growth through stepping into becoming grown children.

All I ask. Now that I'm aware. Is grow up. Be an adult. Argue in private. Be genuinely nice to people. Everyone is equal. Love yourself. Live your life. Stop stressing about NOTHING!

OH MY GOODNESS. look at my rant. Again. My sleep was great. Its the awake part that I struggle with. I can't wait for the Purge. I have many things to get out.

.)